Why birdnesting may not be a good idea

Co-parenting after divorce forms an important foundation for the well-being and stability of the children involved. One of the co-parenting plans that parents may choose is birdnesting, where parents take turns living in the family home with the children while the other parent resides elsewhere.

While this strategy may initially seem beneficial in maintaining stability and minimizing disruption for the children, there are several reasons it may not be a good idea.

It is expensive

Birdnesting may strain the financial resources of both parents, as it requires maintaining multiple living spaces. The costs associated with maintaining the family home, in addition to providing separate accommodations for each parent during their off-duty periods, can quickly add up. This financial burden may not be sustainable in the long term, especially if one or both parents are already facing financial constraints post-divorce.

It can erode boundaries

Post-divorce boundaries are crucial for both parents to establish their independence and move forward with their lives. However, birdnesting can erode these boundaries by blurring the lines between the parents’ personal lives and responsibilities. When parents continue to share a living space, even on a rotating basis, it can become challenging to establish clear boundaries regarding privacy, decision-making and personal time. This lack of distinct boundaries can lead to increased conflict, resentment and difficulty in co-parenting effectively.

It can be confusing for the children

Children may find it hard to cope with the constant flux and uncertainty of birdnesting. While the intention behind this arrangement is to provide stability by keeping the children in a familiar environment, the reality can be confusing and unsettling for them. Having their parents come and go from the family home on a rotating basis may create a sense of instability and inconsistency in their lives. 

Legal guidance may be helpful in determining the best approach to co-parenting, as it can provide better clarity on the legal implications and obligations of birdnesting, as well as offer alternative co-parenting arrangements that may better suit the needs and circumstances of the family.