Should you hold a divorce party?

All major human events seem to be celebrated with some sort of gathering – except, maybe, divorce. Historically speaking, divorce was seen as something shameful and a taboo topic, but that’s changing. 

“Divorce parties” have become a trend amongst the newly single – and divorce is being reframed socially and emotionally as an opportunity for a fresh start. What better way to mark the transition point than with a celebration? It’s a great way to reclaim your identity and reframe the situation with a positive narrative.

What is a divorce party?

Typically, these are small celebrations with close friends – although some folks have chosen to hold larger, more elaborate events. Typically, these are “anti-weddings” with themes that focus on symbolic gestures – like burning your wedding photos or destroying the dress. For many, it’s a chance to turn a painful experience into something positive, providing a sense of closure. 

It’s also an opportunity to shift one’s focus to a brighter, better future. Instead of seeing divorce as an “ending” or a “failure,” you can look at the divorce as a new beginning and a time of personal empowerment.

Are there any caveats?

Don’t jump the gun. Wait until the ink is dry on your divorce decree before you hold a celebration. Here’s why:

• You don’t want to antagonize your ex: If you start celebrating before the final agreements are in place, you may set off a war with your ex-spouse and find yourself back at the negotiating table. You do not want to provoke unnecessary conflicts.
• You need to consider the optics: If your marriage and divorce were particularly volatile, you may really be looking forward to celebrating – but you need to consider how a celebration may look to your children (whether they’re teens or adults), relatives and others. Take the time to decide just how public you want your celebration to be.
• You need emotional clarity: You don’t want to celebrate until you’re in the right headspace. Once you have worked through your grief and anger over the situation and have true acceptance, you’ll have more genuine reason to celebrate and move on.

If you’re ready to end your marriage, the wisest move you can make is to seek experienced legal guidance as early as possible. There’s time for everything else to come.