How to work with a narcissist on child custody matters

Child custody is a challenging situation for those who are dealing with a narcissist. This is primarily because you’re having to raise your children with someone who’s very self-absorbed and lives in a world they create for themselves. 

The very nature of a narcissist makes it challenging for them to parent together because they can only think about what’s best for themselves. There are a few ways that you may be able to reduce the stress of this situation, so consider these options. 

Keep communication simple and short

Short and simple communication is the hallmark of dealing with a narcissist. Stick to the matters that apply to the children and try to work as quickly toward a resolution as possible. Keeping the discussions in writing is beneficial because that provides a record of what both sides say, which helps if the narcissist starts to lie about the situation.

Set and enforce boundaries

Boundaries are important when you’re dealing with a narcissist. One example of this is setting up specific times for non-emergency communication. Narcissists will try to push boundaries, so you should stick to them once they’re set. 

Avoid all emotional engagement

A narcissist thrives on getting emotional reactions out of other people. One of the only ways to prevent them from feeling that power is by controlling your reactions to them. Written communication can stop them from being able to know your reaction, especially if you take the time to review what you said before you send it.

Putting everything related to the child custody arrangement into the parenting plan doesn’t leave any room for misrepresentation in the guidelines. Working with someone who understands how to handle these situations may help you to get the plan in order.