Is it better to stay together for the kids?
Entire songs have been written about the idea that parents sometimes decide to stay together for the kids. This is a decision that they make when they no longer want to be married, but they already have children and they think that the divorce would have a detrimental impact on the children’s lives. They decide to stay married, even though they don’t want to, out of respect for the children.
Parents sometimes think that this is a noble decision, but is it? Is it actually better to stay together for the kids?
High conflict marriage
The real question to ask here is simply what the level of conflict is like in the marriage. If the conflict level is low, then parents who decide to stay together do give their children a bit more stability. Divorce can be hard for children, who sometimes struggle emotionally and academically. These are the ramifications parents are trying to avoid.
However, many parents who are considering divorce are actively in high-conflict marriages. The children are experiencing this conflict and stress on a daily basis. This can be so negative for their development and growth that it would actually be better for them if their parents got divorced. In fact, some parents find that it is easier to be good parents when they are co-parents who can focus on the kids, rather than when they are a married couple and they are constantly at odds with one another.
Children and divorce often go together and can lead to complicated situations. It’s important for those involved to understand exactly what legal options they have and what steps to take.